(via taylorhgraham)
Source:
I found what could be by far one of the most amazing shows ever “Awkward.”, and that is the sole reason for why I went to bed past 2am last night and why it is 12:23 on a Sunday night and I am ranting on a blog that nobody will never neither read nor care about my blog and why I have not read the first 50 pages of “City of Thieves” that I need to have read by AP Lit second hour tomorrow where I will continue to do my best in pretending that I am both intelligent and semi-cool in hopes that he will hopefully someday possibly notice me and see me as a better girlfriend than the cheerleader he may or may not have broken up with. That i believe is the longest sentence I have ever written, not that it makes any sense or has any merit to it though. Because as much as I would like to pretend that people will one day notice how awesome I really am and that I am really better than all of theses worthless posers that I am surrounded with, keeping hope that things will get better becomes an extremely daunting task that at times seems almost impossible. If there is something wrong with me I would like to know, because over the last four years at Chaparral I have wasted countless hours trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with me and what it is that drives people to go out of their way to make fun of me and make my life miserable, why no matter how hard I try I will never be able to walk the halls confident and not thinking that someone is laughing at me when in reality they don’t give a shit, and trying to not give up hope that one day his smile will be more than a smile and he will see me for what I really am worth as well as what those posers are not. But then again this is all the crap that goes on in my head all day long while it seems that I am paying attention and totally aware of my surroundings when in reality I am unable to willingly face reality and stop living in my fantasy world where “what if’s”, “almost’s”, and “close” actually mean something. I have no idea if any of this makes any remote sense at all but I have atleast now somewhat been able to clear my head and will hopefully be able to sleep and wake up to a day that is farther away from the real reality and closer to the reality that exists in my head and that in wish existed in the world in which I actually live. Oh shit now I have somehow managed to confuse myself, oh well, nothing new. Good night.
Does really truly caring for someone mean that you want them to be happy no matter what? That even if the person they are with is not you, that you want them to be happy? Wanting someone to break up with another just for your sake must not truly mean that you care about said person, because their breakup might indeed cause them pain. And wishing pain on those we care about seems a bit redundant. Although it may hurt, a lot, seeing the one we care about being happy with another should indeed make us happy.
icanstillseethebirds: (w/ a few minor changes)
Source: eightbuffalossigh he is cute whatever
he’s a junior and i’m a lonely hormonal senior
and he most likely has a girlfriend
and that is the end of this story
